Many wonderful books were published last year, but I didn’t feel up to writing about them. Depression creeped in. As long time reader’s know, I experienced severe postpartum depression, anxiety and psychosis after my daughter was born nine years ago. From time to time, the depression returns. This fall it returned with a vengeance. My symptoms didn’t include sadness, hopelessness, guilt or worthlessness. Instead, a loss of interest in hobbies, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, restlessness and oversleeping. All things that affect my ability to write.
After tweaking some medications with little results, I asked to receive ECT… best known by the term shock therapy. I received it after my daughter was born. It was a lifesaver for me; but definitely caused memory loss, required anesthesia, someone to drive me to and from the hospital, and a day living on hospital time. Sometimes I waited 30 minutes to be called back for the procedure, other times hours. For me to be ready to try it again shows how bad I’ve felt. If you’re thinking One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s next, don’t. When my brain is less foggy, I’m going to write about the reality of shock therapy in the mid 2000’s.
I’m very open about my struggle with depression. Unlike other diseases, friends, family, even strangers have diverse opinions on how it should be treated and have no qualms about sharing their thoughts. Very few say, “Your psychiatrist is the best person to help you make this decision. Instead you hear “Maybe you should try… hot tea, exercise, yoga, meditation, counseling, St. Johns Wort, a massage, acupuncture, take dairy, gluten, meat, or some other item out of your diet, light therapy. fish oil, join a clinical trial for the use of ketamine (a club drug of the date rape variety), draw, paint, read, volunteer your time, start a new hobby.” The list is as diverse as the people I know. Many of these suggestions I’ve tried. I appreciate the concern; but for me I’ve come to realize there’s a certain section of my brain that needs to be zapped and I’m reset. ECT did this for me; but as I show above, it requires lots of time and finding someone to drive me.
Thankfully, there is a new therapy available nearby which wasn’t offered nine years ago. It’s called TMS, which stands for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. Next week, I have a consultation with one of the doctor’s who administered shock therapy to me. He is currently doing TMS. I’ll be able to drive myself to and from this procedure. Most people resume their normal daily activities immediately afterwards. For me that means going to work, being a mom, and meeting up with friends from time to time. All things I’ve struggled with this year.
Even with these challenges, there is still joy. This fall, ML started yoga at her after school care, One particularly hard day, I needed a laugh. ML provided it. She showed me the new yoga pose she created, “downward peeing dog.” Basically, it’s downward dog with one leg raised.
This Christmas, Santa brought ML a yoga mat in her favorite color… black. It was her favorite present. Well, almost. The winner was raspberry filled Ghiradelli. When she pulled them out of her stocking she exclaimed, “Santa loves me!”
I’ve realized an important aspect of parenting should be helping ML learn how to decompress and relax at an early age. Yoga is a perfect way to do that. Below are my favorite books to teach yoga poses to children.
My Daddy is a Pretzel: Yoga for Parents and Kids by Baron Baptiste and illustrated by Sophie Fatus – Tomorrow ML returns from her Dad’s house. I’m getting out my yoga mat in my favorite color… green. ML can get out her black yoga mat. Then we’ll learn these poses together.
A Girls Guide to Yoga by Jeanne Finestone – I found this book in the Young Adult section of the library. In a few years, I’ll be checking it out so ML can learn “period poses,” to ease pain during menstruation.
I Love Yoga by Mary Kaye Chryssicas and photographed by Angela Coppolo – The cover’s deceptive. Most of the photographs inside the book are of girls and boys around ML’s age, not preschoolers. Of all the books with photographs, this one had the clearest images and easy to understand steps involved in various poses.